As a rural ER doctor, I feel guilty cutting back my hours. But it’s the only way for me to keep working

As a rural emergency room doctor in Kenora, Ont., I have come to a point where I feel the need to publicly apologize. I am sorry that many of you are not receiving the healthcare you need in the right place or at the right time. I apologize for the lack of primary care providers, the long wait times, and the lack of privacy in the hallways of our hospital.

These challenges are not unique to our hospital in Kenora; similar experiences are seen in emergency rooms across the country. It is important for me to emphasize that my colleagues and I cannot fix these problems on our own. The constant struggle to address these issues has led some healthcare professionals to the brink of leaving the profession, and the strain on our mental and physical well-being may ultimately worsen the services we provide.

In my own experience, I have had to scale back the number of ER shifts I work due to burnout and stress. Working long hours without breaks, dealing with increasingly complex and critical cases, and facing challenges in transferring patients to larger hospitals due to staffing and bed shortages have taken a toll on my well-being.

I have found myself in situations where I am begging for the necessary resources for my patients, only to sometimes fail to provide them with the care they need in a timely manner. The emotional weight of these failures, combined with the pressure to keep the ER running, has led to feelings of impotence and anxiety.

Last year, I reached a breaking point and had to make the difficult decision to reduce my shifts or risk quitting altogether. This decision was not easy, as I have always been dedicated to providing care to those in need. However, I realized that I needed to prioritize my own health and well-being in order to continue serving my community effectively.

Since cutting back on my hours, I have found time to focus on self-care and develop new hobbies that bring me joy and relaxation. I have learned that taking care of myself is essential in ensuring that I can continue to be an effective physician and advocate for my patients.

While the staffing crisis in rural hospitals remains a pressing issue, I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot single-handedly solve this problem. I now focus on working my designated shifts, occasionally picking up extra shifts, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

I ask for forgiveness and understanding from the public for the shortcomings of the healthcare system and the challenges we face in providing care. I also call for systemic changes that shift the burden of maintaining rural healthcare services away from healthcare workers and onto the policymakers responsible for the system.

Despite the difficulties and frustrations, I remain committed to serving my community and working in the ER for the long term. I hope that by sharing my story, I can shed light on the realities of healthcare in rural areas and advocate for the support and resources needed to provide quality care to all patients.