How do you talk to your kids about the use of medically-assisted death?

When Trisha Holland faced the difficult decision of how to talk to her three children about her father’s choice to undergo medically-assisted death (MAID), she knew she had to approach the conversation with honesty and sensitivity. Her father, Ronald Watt, had been battling cancer and made the decision to choose MAID after learning his illness was terminal. Holland’s sons were 10, 13, and 15 at the time, making it essential for her to have age-appropriate discussions with them.

Debra Wiszniak, a retired social worker with expertise in palliative care and MAID counseling, emphasized the importance of having open and honest conversations with children about illness, dying, and death. She highlighted the significance of normalizing these discussions to help children develop healthier coping strategies and bereavement outcomes. Wiszniak stressed that while parents may make mistakes along the way, starting the conversation early can make it easier to navigate difficult topics with children.

Wiszniak recommended initiating discussions by asking children what they know about MAID and providing them with simple explanations of the criteria for MAID. It’s crucial for children to understand that MAID is only available to adults with a serious life-limiting illness and that no one can be pressured into choosing it. Encouraging children to ask questions and being prepared to address their inquiries can help them process the information more effectively.

In cases where children may be involved in the MAID process, Wiszniak advised parents to prepare them thoroughly. This includes explaining what will happen during the procedure, how the person’s body will change after death, who will be present for support, and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel sad or change their mind about attending.

Drawing from her personal experience, Holland shared how she explained her mother’s MAID decision to her children a year after her father’s passing. She emphasized the importance of approaching the conversation through love and togetherness, reassuring her children that they would all be together, holding hands and supporting each other through the difficult process.

Navigating conversations about MAID with children can be challenging, but with honesty, sensitivity, and a focus on love and support, parents can help their children understand and cope with the complexities of death and dying. For additional resources on talking to children about MAID, websites like kidsgrief.ca and the Saskatchewan Health Authority can provide valuable guidance and support.