Two couples talk about life after ‘Bachelor in Paradise Canada’

SPOILER ALERT: This story contains spoilers for “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

Joey Kirchner only told his mother afterwards that he was returning to the reality dating show “Bachelor in Paradise Canada.”

“My mom didn’t want me to move on again,” Kirchner said via Zoom last week. “She says, ‘You’re too sweet for that. You just have too big a heart for that kind of thing.'”

Fortunately for Kirchner, the Alberta-born “cowboy” who was the breakout star of Season 1 of “Bachelor in Paradise Canada,” things went better this time than in 2021, when he had an acrimonious breakup with the woman he fell for while filming the Citytv show.

Kirchner not only left the second season engaged to be married, he also became part of the “Bachelor” franchise history when his fiancé, American Tessa Tookes, became the first woman to propose on a “Bachelor” show . Kirchner followed up in Sunday’s final by proposing to right-back and offering a sparkling diamond ring after accepting a woven ring from her.

Tookes, 28, an HR strategist and indie musician, sat next to Kirchner, 33, during the Zoom call, having moved from New York to Toronto in February to be with the actor and model. Austin Tinsley and Chelsea Vaughn, an American couple who also moved in together in February after meeting while filming “Paradise Canada,” joined the conversation from New York.

They were the only four people out of a cast of 27 to go the distance as couples. The series, like the American original, brings singles together at a resort for several weeks with the aim of some contestants leaving engaged, or at least continuing to see each other once filming is over.

Three couples were still intact in the Season 2 finale, but one of them — Salt Lake Tech CEO Garrett Aida and Vancouver interior designer and actor Meagan Morris — later broke up.

Since this conversation took place a few days before the airing of the finale, the relationships between Kirchner and Tookes, and Tinsley and Vaughn were still technically secret. However, all four contestants were eager to make them official.

“We’re very, very, very happy to be in hiding for just four more days,” says Vaughn, 30, a model, podcaster, and content creator who is originally from Georgia but lives in Brooklyn.

“But who’s counting, honestly?” joked her boyfriend Tinsley, 27, a real estate agent and personal trainer from Orange County, California.

It was a long time since “Paradise Canada” was filmed last June at the Christie’s Mill Inn and Spa in Port Severn, Ontario, especially during its first eight months when the relationships were long-distance.

“We had FaceTime dates every night and did everything we could to make it somewhat normal, but the distance sucks,” said Vaughn.

Kirchner, with his trademark bluntness, described hiding his relationship for over a year as “absolutely f-king awful, the worst experience I’ve ever had in my life.”

To be clear, after moving in together, the couples didn’t creep into their apartments out of sight. They’ve been out and about being recognized on the streets in their respective cities, including at a recent Blue Jays game for Kirchner and Tookes.

But Vaughn, whose job it is to post about herself on social media, said she felt “like I was constantly lying and suppressing much of my life.”

“It’s not like everything has to happen for social media and for the public, because that’s not happening,” Kirchner added. “I mean, we’re obviously really happy just being together without having to share it all over the planet, but it definitely adds stress.”

The two couples relied on each other for moral support, with group chats and a few visits. And of course close friends and families knew about the secret.

The first thing Vaughn and Tinsley did after they packed up was fly to Vaughn’s best friend’s Florida wedding, where Tinsley met all of her best friends and got “grilled,” he said.

Tookes initially returned to New York solo, but then flew to Alberta to meet Kirchner’s entire family, where they broke the news of their engagement at a Canada Day cottage gathering.

“We were on the wharf and Joey was like, ‘You should probably take the ring today,'” Tookes said. So I had it in the back pocket of my jeans, which is kind of a risky place for a ring to go. And he just gathered everyone to the dock and he said, ‘Okay, I have to tell you something. Tessa and I are engaged.’”

Now the couple is planning a proper engagement party, and Tookes is working with Kirchner’s mom on a wedding Pinterest board for a possible fall 2024 ceremony.

As for Vaughn and Tinsley, “we’re just trying to move into a new apartment, have him meet my family, travel, be happy to be open in a relationship that’s public,” Vaughn said.

If you’re skeptical about the long-term prospects of two couples who fell in love after 24 days (Tinsley and Vaughn) and two weeks (Kirchner and Tookes), respectively, they get it.

They themselves didn’t necessarily expect much when they signed up for the show.

“When they finalized (my casting) for ‘Paradise Canada,’ it was like going to summer camp and having fun, no matter what,” Tookes said.

Mind you, she recorded videos for her friends before leaving, joking that she was coming home “with a hockey-playing fiancé from Canada.” (Yes, Kirchner plays hockey recreationally.)

“We’re all hopeless romantics, of course, or we wouldn’t go on this show with a glimmer of hope that we’d actually meet someone,” he said. “No matter how many times we all said, ‘Oh yeah, we went for fun,’ deep down, each of us thought, ‘Sure would be fun.'”

Kirchner explained it this way: If you’re dating in the real world, especially in a big city, you might only see the other person once a week.

“So what normal people would have in a relationship… over the course of three, four or five, maybe six months… I get that with Tessa in a week on ‘Paradise’, and that’s with no distractions, no phone , everyone around me talks and thinks about the exact same thing, and I can just sit there every day and just get to know who this person is inside and out,” he said.

“The process clearly works,” Tookes added. “Like I met my soul mate on a TV show. I can’t believe I can say that out loud. But I think we all just have the right sauce, the right combination of, I don’t know, insanity, hope.”

Besides, “Paradise” has a better track record than parent shows “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” when it comes to lasting relationships. There have been six weddings to date from couples who met on America’s “Paradise” (although one ended in divorce), including Torontonians Serena Pitt, who married Chicagoan Joe Amabile in October 2022, and Kevin Wendt, who married with Floridian Astrid Loch the same month.

Speaking of Wendt, who serves as a bartender on Canada’s “Paradise,” he could have company when the series returns (Citytv announced it would shut down in 2024).

There’s only one way Kirchner said he’d consider returning to the show. “If they don’t ask me to be a bartender, I’m up and down this whole franchise,” he joked.

Debra Yeo is an editor and writer for the Star’s Culture section. She is based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter: @realityeo

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