Ask Lisi: My teen keeps flaunting her Kardashian body

Q My wife lets people walk all over her and doesn’t stand up for herself. It makes me crazy. She is such a giving and selfless person, always doing for others. But people take her generosity for granted and have high expectations of her.

For example, she helped a friend organize volunteers for a year-long project that coincided with her child’s school year. Every two to three months a different group of volunteers was asked to participate. Participation was high for several months; others not at all. In the middle of it all, our daughter got tonsillitis and ended up in the hospital. That period was not popular with volunteers and they were short because my wife failed to do so.

Her friend was understanding and not angry, but the organizer of the project sent her a mean email berating her for not doing her job. I wanted to reach through the screen, I was so angry. My wife told me to let it go.

But I know she was hurt and upset. How do I get her to stand up for herself, especially if she’s volunteering her time and energy?

Protective hubby

a Your wife is smart. Responding to that woman wouldn’t have done her any good. Your wife is generous, not only with her time, but also in her spirit. But she clearly has set her priorities. When your daughter needed her, she was focused and present.

Tell her how proud you are of her. Tell her you hate to see people take advantage of her. Tell her you have her back when she needs you.

Now let her do her thing. When she has had enough, she walks away.

Q My daughter is going to a pool party at the end of school with her boyfriend, who is graduating from high school. I understand someone wearing a bathing suit to a pool party, but my daughter has a Kardashian figure: big boobs, small waist, and some junk in her trunk. We argue about her clothing choices at least once a week.

She showed me her pool party outfit and I’m beside myself. Her bikini is so small it barely covers anything. There is no material in the back. Just a string that fastens the front, which is smaller than a piece of cheese.

I know she can’t help the way her figure looks, but she could be more conservative in her choice of clothes, especially a bathing suit. In my opinion, her tiny bikini screams SEX!

What shall I do?

Humiliated mother

a Breathe, mommy, breathe. Face it, she’s a teenager and she’ll wear whatever she wants whether you like it or not. However, you can help her see the difference in how outfits change the way people feel, both to the person wearing the outfit and to those who see them.

For example, the same person who feels lazy, wears sweatpants, watches TV on the couch, can then put on a cocktail dress and high heels and feel energized and beautiful.

Tell her the bikini is beautiful, but maybe it’s better for the beach and not for a school pool party. Offer to take her bathing suit to shop and try on some more material. Sexy, stylish bathing suits don’t have to be scarce. It sounds like her body speaks for itself, even when she’s wearing a brown paper bag.

Q: When my elderly father passed away five months ago, it hit me hard. I was his live-in primary caregiver (my mother passed away nine years ago). Within a week, a young female colleague of a friend of mine reached out to express sympathy and condolences. Since then she and I have gone out for dinner and drinks a few times.

She’s made it clear she just wants to be friends and I’m more than willing to respect that. However, I feel a little more than that about her. The big problem is that she is half my age. I’m 50 and she’s 25. I don’t want to jeopardize our new friendship. What must we do?

Confused

A: You mention that this young woman is a friend of a friend. While it’s nice of her to reach out, it seems odd that she’d want to strike up a new friendship this way. She’s young enough to be your daughter.

I suggest moving on to friends and potential lovers who are closer to your own age.

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