For these grieving partners, Camp Widow offered a way forward
How a Widow Uncovered her Late Husband’s Dark Secrets
The sudden death of Jessica Waite’s husband, Sean, from a heart attack while on a business trip to Houston in 2015 left her reeling with shock. However, the Calgary writer’s world was shattered further when she received a box of his personal belongings the day after his funeral. Mailed from Houston, the contents of the box revealed a series of devastating secrets that Sean had kept hidden from her throughout their marriage – infidelity, drug abuse, compulsive spending, hidden debt, and a pornography addiction.
In an interview with The Current’s host Matt Galloway, Waite shared her feelings of betrayal and disbelief upon uncovering the truth about her late husband. Her experiences are chronicled in her memoir, “The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards”. Waite also attended Camp Widow in Toronto, an annual event that brings together individuals who have lost their partners. The camp is designed to facilitate emotional healing through workshops, banquets, and dances, allowing participants to connect with others who share similar experiences of loss.
Waite described Camp Widow as a transformative experience that helped her feel less isolated in her grief. She learned to accept the loss of a flawed partner and found solace in connecting with others who understood her pain. The camp’s founding director, Jodi Skeates, emphasized the importance of finding hope in the midst of grief, describing it as a “gritty hope” that requires effort and perseverance.
Steven Sousa, who lost his wife to cancer in 2019, highlighted the misconception that men can easily move on from grief. He found comfort in the camaraderie of other widowers at Camp Widow, where shared experiences of loss transcended individual stories. Janice Martin, who lost her wife to cancer in 2011, praised the inclusive environment at Camp Widow, particularly the support for LGBTQ spouses.
Heather Mohan, a grief counselor and executive director of Lumara Grief & Bereavement Care Society, emphasized the need for more grief support in Canada. She called for a national bereavement strategy to provide better access to support, increase public education on grief, and secure funding for grief research. The Canadian Grief Alliance has been advocating for such a strategy, citing findings from a recent survey that revealed a lack of support for grieving individuals.
Ultimately, Waite believes that confronting grief is essential in a culture that often avoids discussing loss. She sees grief as a pathway to rediscovering love and vitality, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions in order to heal. As efforts continue to improve grief support in Canada, individuals like Waite and others at Camp Widow are finding hope and healing in their shared experiences of loss and resilience.
