I live with 20 other men in a small shared space. This is what treatment is like
Living in a treatment centre with 20 other men has become a familiar routine for me. At 52 years old, I never thought I would find myself in this situation, surrounded by roommates, half of whom have recently been released from prison. This is my fifth alcohol addiction treatment centre in the past 20 years, and each time I enter these spaces of recovery, I hope that this will be the one to finally keep me sober.
Alcoholism is a complex disease that affects every aspect of my life. It’s not about lacking willpower or having a moral failure. It’s a bio-psycho-social-spiritual disease that hijacks my brain, body, and spirit, even when life seems to be going well. I used to have a stereotypical image of what an alcoholic looked like, but the reality is that alcoholism does not discriminate. It can affect anyone, regardless of their background or circumstances.
When I am in the depths of my addiction, I feel a sense of despair and fear that is overwhelming. My life spirals out of control, and I find myself in shelters, hospitals, detox clinics, and treatment centres, trying to rebuild my life. Each time, I hope that this will be the turning point, the moment when I finally break free from the cycle of addiction.
The first week in a treatment centre is always the toughest. I arrive with a duffle bag, meet my new roommate, and try to settle into my new surroundings. The following weeks are filled with a mix of emotions – from shock and shame to hope and camaraderie. I find comfort in the routines of daily life in the centre, from group meetings to mandatory chores and outings to the nearby dollar store.
Every treatment centre is different, but they all follow a similar structure. We make our beds, line up for meals, attend groups, and share our struggles and triumphs with one another. There is a sense of solidarity among the residents, as we all work towards the common goal of sobriety. Despite the challenges and setbacks, there are moments of transformation and connection that make the journey worthwhile.
As I write this piece during my second month in the treatment centre, I am reminded of the struggles and successes of those around me. I see the resilience and determination of my fellow residents, as we support each other through the ups and downs of recovery. Despite the difficulties and setbacks, we hold onto the hope that this time, just might be the one to keep us sober.
In the midst of the chaos and uncertainty of life in a treatment centre, there is a sense of magic and possibility. As we work through our struggles and support one another, we begin to see glimpses of the person we are meant to be – whole, healed, and free from the grip of addiction. This journey is not easy, but it is necessary for our survival and our future. And as we navigate the challenges and uncertainties of recovery, we hold onto the hope that this time, we will finally find the peace and sobriety we seek.