Married 41 years and racked with pain, N.B. couple said goodbye together using MAID
On the morning of February 25 at around 10:45, Lee Goguen had a heart-wrenching conversation with her father, Gerald Goguen, about his last wishes. Gerald, a 70-year-old man diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2008, had made the difficult decision to end his life on his own terms, along with his wife of 41 years, Coby Goguen, who was also battling cancer that had spread to her bones. The couple was in excruciating pain and wanted to put an end to their suffering.
As the time for their medical assistance in dying (MAID) procedure approached, Lee expressed her gratitude for the option that allowed her parents to have a peaceful and dignified end to their lives. Initially skeptical about MAID when it became legal in 2016, Lee’s parents’ experience helped change her perspective. In their final days in the hospital, Lee sought their permission to share their story publicly.
Minutes before the sedative would put them to sleep, Gerald requested to hear the song “I Love You” by the Climax Blues Band, a tune that held special significance for them as it was played on their wedding day. Even though the vinyl record was not available, Lee played the song on her phone, bringing back memories of a time when Gerald saw Coby as the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.
As the music played, Coby leaned back and listened, while Gerald continued to gaze lovingly at his wife. The couple held hands as they peacefully drifted off to sleep, surrounded by their daughter and the hospital staff who had made it possible for them to be together in their final moments.
Medical assistance in dying has been on the rise in Canada, with New Brunswick seeing a steady increase in applications over the years. Both health networks in the province have reported a growing demand for MAID, reflecting a shift in attitudes towards end-of-life care.
Lee’s parents underwent a thorough assessment to qualify for MAID, as required by Canadian law. The process involves two independent medical practitioners assessing the patient’s condition and ensuring that they meet the eligibility criteria, including being in an advanced state of decline and experiencing intolerable suffering.
As the law evolves to include more provisions for MAID, patients have the option to choose a peaceful and dignified end to their suffering. For Lee, witnessing her parents’ death together, holding hands and looking at each other with love, brought her a sense of closure that she had never experienced before.
The compassionate care provided by the hospital staff, including the MAID coordinator who helped the family plan their last living day, made a profound impact on Lee and her parents. The couple’s decision to end their lives on their own terms allowed them to find peace and comfort in each other’s presence, leaving behind a legacy of love and courage.
