Ask Ellie: He bought me a fake designer bag for my birthday

Q Am I ungrateful and spoiled for not wanting a fake designer bag? How do I tell my other half I don’t want anything fake without him feeling like I’m being ungrateful.

My birthday just passed and my husband was struggling with what to get me as a present. He kept asking what I wanted, and I said I didn’t want anything. Then I jokingly said that I wanted a very expensive designer bag.

I didn’t expect him to take me seriously since we have two kids including a new baby and can’t afford lavish gifts at the moment.

He said my gift would be late because he spent a lot of time searching and researching for the bag I wanted, when I had told him repeatedly that I would be happy with new makeup and skincare.

It has put a strain on our relationship and it has put me in an awkward situation. He bought a ‘superfake’ designer bag for a good price.

He is extremely upset and thinks I am ungrateful for spending so much time online searching for the bag and making sure the bag is a perfect replica of the real one that even authenticators will have a hard time telling it from a real one. to distinguish.

He states that it is the principles that he is angry about. He made sure the bag is made with the same materials, design, and quality as the original, so it’s just as good as an authentic one.

I agree and understand that if it is made with the same materials, design and quality, it might as well be real. But that is not it.

I told him that with the money he spent on this bag I would have been happy with a less expensive brand that cost as much as what he spent.

I can’t win. I appreciate the time he spent making me happy with what he has.

Am I being rude and ungrateful because I felt it was a bad thought to give a fake gift to begin with? Please help!

Hate fakes

a Something more important is happening here than a stock market purchase. While you “jokingly” said you wanted “a really expensive designer bag” for your birthday, you weren’t completely open with your husband about more important issues as a couple: limited finances and the new baby.

Your persistent argument about “knock-offs” (currently the rage among many who enjoy the lower price) actually reflects your mood.

I sympathize with you as your reaction to your husband’s efforts is not incompatible with the common postpartum “baby blues” which usually only last a few weeks, according to the Mayo Clinic.

But if you’re currently feeling in a generally negative mood, it’s an important signal to see your doctor to avoid long-term depression.

Q My somewhat new girlfriend and I are 70 and fit. We have a powerful, all-natural sex life. She is more than happy with things, but I am worried about her (I see pink spots).

Should we reduce the number of orgasms and tone down the sensitive stuff?

Happy seniors

a If your sex life is equally good for both of you, that’s great… unless it’s sometimes too intense for your partner. While seniors can be sexually satisfied, the tissues in certain delicate areas can tear a bit.

Anyone who regularly bleeds from having sex should see their doctor.

Reader Comment: On missing our grandchildren (April 3) and also suffering (May 23):

“Both seem completely baffled as to why they have been denied access to their grandchildren and expressed the loss as an inalienable right.

“As a parent who has denied my children access to my mother since they were toddlers, I find it unbelievable that these grandparents don’t know the reason, which may be at the root of why the parents acted the way they did.

“In my situation, my mother inflicted criminal injury on me, resulting in charges and imprisonment of the accused when I was much older. My mother denied her involvement and that the damage was done.

“As a parent who chose to protect and love my children, putting them at risk was never an option. I think that in most cases, refusing access to a grandchild is not an insignificant act, but the only acceptable choice.”

Not everyone deserves a second chance

Ellie’s tip of the day: When a husband’s eagerly sought-after birthday gift only annoys you, postpartum “baby blues” may be involved.

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