Ask Lisi: I had two job offers. Did I choose the wrong one?

Q Two months ago I came home for the summer after my sophomore year of college. A friend of mine got a cool gig for another friend of hers. The pay was good, the hours acceptable. She asked me if I wanted a job for the spring months. I said yes.

It was a fun job and we worked hard. After the first two weeks they gave us half of our money in cash and said they would give us the other half by check after the next two weeks.

We thought that was strange, but I trusted my friend who trusted her friend. After another two weeks they again gave us half in cash. Essentially, they owed us 50 percent of our wages. My friend asked her friend what was going on and she apologized but said they were having cash flow issues. She promised we’d get what we owed in two weeks.

You guessed it – another two weeks went by and they gave us half in cash. We were so angry and couldn’t understand how they could get away with this. My friend called her friend and I heard her apologize but no promise of our money.

We said we wouldn’t work anymore. She brought us all a check, for what we owed, but delayed until the end of the originally agreed eight weeks. And she said if we didn’t work for the last two weeks, she’d cancel the checks.

So we worked for the past two weeks, cashed our checks and ran. In the end, 25 percent of our promised wages were taken from us.

What should we have done differently?

Hard workers

a You two didn’t do anything wrong – it was the people you worked for who were wrong. I suspect they thought they could take advantage of two young students, and they did. Lesson learned.

But how do you translate that into future practice? Get it in writing. It doesn’t matter if the job is only for eight weeks. It doesn’t have to be a formal document, just something that says how long you plan to work, the hours and target wages. Let them sign and you sign, and take a photo as proof.

My other suggestion is more for your boyfriend, which is to not mix work and friends. I suspect their friendship was damaged by this incident as relationships of any kind, including friendships, are built on trust.

Q I applied to various jobs in the city and abroad for the summer. The first job offer was probably my last choice, but I was afraid I wouldn’t get anything else, so I took it.

They wanted me to start two weeks later. However, I got another offer of a job I wanted more, in the United States. The only problem was the travel and accommodation costs.

I figured out how to make that job work without spending too much up front, then “quit” the first job. Now the American job just makes me run around with visas, etc., and says they need another two weeks to organize everything.

I’m just sitting here wasting time. What shall I do?

Unemployed

a Call back the first job, ask if you can do a short period of two weeks. Explain that your summer has changed and you’re leaving town, which is why you’re “quitting.” But you still have two weeks before you leave and would like to work for them during that time, if they still need you.

If they say yes, great! And that will help you earn money to go to the United States. If they say no, look around for something else, but be honest.

FEEDBACK As for the kid whose playdate ended strangely (May 24):

Reader: “The very young child may or may not be able to adjust to a friend’s much smaller (or otherwise ‘other’) house on play dates.

“You weren’t suggesting the obvious: playdates with this friend outside, for now and at least for the summer. That is easy to explain to the other parents: ‘We notice that Johnny is more comfortable playing outside at the moment than at other friends’ houses.’”

Lisa: This is a very practical and easy answer. I like it.

Small children have very big emotions, but they lack the maturity and verbal ability to express themselves. Parents should be their children’s advocates. They should try to make the best of their children. Sometimes they will be wrong. As long as the child knows, it can count on support from its parent.

There will be other awkward moments in this child’s life.

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