Dating Diaries: We went to a movie. He fell asleep. We are married
the daters: Becca and Doug
Becca says: “I had been single for over 20 years when I met Doug. As a single parent, I raised my kids, maintained our home, kept paid work, volunteered, and then made the decision to go back to college and college. My dating life was non existent. There were brief moments when I dreamed of what it would be like to have a partner in crime, passion and everything in between, but my mom-student-employee volunteer duties took precedence.”
How we met: Online
Where we went: Dinner and a movie
A good friend bought me a trial subscription to a dating site. She said my kids were grown and self-sufficient and I should get out again. I was firmly convinced that the first man I chose so far would become my husband. I refused to give the milk away for free. I didn’t want to give anyone false hope or make anyone think that visiting my profile would lead to a lifetime supply of milk, so I was clear in my intentions.
Doug messaged me. I found him rather cheeky and quite wary, but persistent. It was my opinion, at least while dating, that if you want to know something about someone, ask them questions and be willing to answer the same questions about yourself. It’s possible I came on too strong. Doug was quiet where I was talkative; he gave measured answers while I don’t always have a filter. His way of communicating aroused my curiosity. I thought, could this be it?
“Gentlemen!”
We talked for almost two months before we actually met in person. At first it was just text messages and daily “good morning” voice notes that I looked forward to — and kept — before graduating to phone calls and FaceTime. He was gentle and easy-going with me, confident and open-hearted.
I officially declined to ask him out on our first date, and eventually he suggested we meet in person. I told him it was long enough and that I thought he would never ask. His response was that I was so forthright that he assumed I would ask and when I didn’t he assumed I didn’t want to go out. Gentlemen!
When we met in person, I thought Doug was great. I really would have poured him a glass of milk in a golden cup! We immediately clicked.
“We found our way to each other and clicked into place”
We went to a restaurant where the food was subpar and overpriced and the service lackluster. Although the dinner itself was dreary, we had a good conversation. We had shared many of our dreams, desires, goals and secrets during the two months before we met, but like two puzzle pieces misplaced, we found our way to each other and fell into place. Doug animatedly shared personal photos and anecdotes with me. I was honored to have won his trust.
I didn’t want the night to end, so I suggested a movie. We went to the nearest theater. Waiting for the movie and sharing a drink, it felt pretty intense. We were both attracted to each other, but this was the first time we shared the same sky, so I looked forward to a dimly lit movie theater like I was a teenager!
“My fantasies fell apart under the sounds of his soft snores”
During the previews, Doug made himself comfortable by dropping his arm over my shoulders. If we had been at the VIP Cineplex I might have sat on his lap!
Less than 10 minutes into the movie, I glimpsed his face and saw that this man was fast asleep! My fantasies shattered under the sounds of his soft snores. At first I was shocked. How dares he! Didn’t he know how much I had been looking forward to this evening? Then I thought, aww – he trusts me enough to fall asleep in my presence. I also thought his lips looked very soft.
I gently poked him in the ribs. He opened his bottomless brown eyes and apologized, and I leaned in, with my candid self, planting a kiss on him that kept him awake for the rest of the movie—almost. Towards the end he started dozing again, and this time I just made him comfortable on my shoulder. The date ended with another nudge on the back of my elbow. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Doug had worked double shifts, gone home, showered, and changed for our date because he didn’t want to reschedule.
I considered stopping dating Doug, but he made that impossible by marrying me.
We’ve never gone to the movies together in the three years we’ve been together.
Becca rates her date (out of 10): 10
