She is plus size, her husband is not and he loves the internet
Alicia Mccarvell is living a rom-com dream. She married her best friend and high school sweetheart, Scott Mccarvell, after they met in 10th grade and shared their first kiss at age 16 while watching the MuchMusic Video Awards. Now, the Halifax-based influencer, actor, podcast host, and self-love advocate has built a social media presence around confidence-building content and hilarious videos of her and Scott. Anyone who scrolls past one of her clips can see how in love they are. And yet, McCarvell regularly gets comments from strangers on the Internet simply because she and her husband are different sizes.
One of her very first TikToks went viral in 2019. In the video, Alicia pops up for photos of Scott (including one of him flexing his defined muscles) as he lip syncs over a trending audio clip: “Having a boyfriend 10 times hotter than you, check!” McCarvell thought it would be funny to jump on the craze, knowing that she and Scott “don’t make sense by society’s standards of beauty.”
The video was viewed millions of times – as well as a slew of hateful comments from trolls who refused to believe that Scott really married her. Unwavering, McCarvell was motivated to keep posting about self-love and a relationship of different weights. Last year, another of her TikToks went viral; a clip of her and Scott switching from towels to formal wedding outfits was viewed more than 52 million times — and the same old hurtful comments like “he’s cheating” and “she must be rich” resurfaced.
McCarvell spoke about the hate in a follow-up video captioned “let’s tackle beauty standards in the room,” which also went viral with over 30 million views. “Alicia from 10 years ago wouldn’t have been able to do this, but this version of me is willing to have these conversations if it’s going to help someone else feel good about themselves or their relationship,” she says. Here she gets candid about dealing with trolls, overcoming insecurities in her relationship, and learning to love herself in a bathing suit.
What would you say to people who leave negative comments on videos of you with your husband?
“I feel sorry for them. How sad is it that they can miss their soulmate because they weren’t willing to look past someone’s body? It’s confusing for people to see something that violates beauty standards because it’s not what they’re used to And people act like I didn’t have those thoughts myself – you’re never going to say something to me that I haven’t already said to myself. For years I wondered what Scott saw in me. Now I know it makes a lot of sense that we’re together; we’re funny and kind. He’s a hard worker and I’m a great communicator. We complement each other in the most incredible ways, and our relationship has nothing to do with the body I live in.”
What advice do you have for someone who feels insecure because they are in a bigger body than their partner?
“The only opinions that matter in your relationship are your own. That’s where you should start. It’s also important to take off your own glasses and see yourself through your partner’s eyes from time to time. It’s a really cool place to live when you see how your partner sees you and the things they like about you. Stop allowing how you feel about your body to transfer to how your partner feels about you. They don’t have to love you, they don’t have to reach out to you, they don’t have to treat you with respect. Scott never did that out of sympathy; he did it because he loved me. He always made me feel important, but the way I allowed him to love me has changed dramatically. Let your partner love you the way they want to love you. Take the effing compliment!
You and Scott have been together for 17 years now. How did you get over those insecurities you had about your body earlier in your relationship?
“When I got to college, my activity level changed and I gained 50 pounds. I was confronted with a new body and it drastically changed how I felt about myself. Then, six years ago, Scott and I took a vacation to Florida. I hadn’t been on the beach with anyone in 12 years, not even Scott. And what happened will be a core memory for the rest of my life: We played in the water for two and a half hours like we did when we were 17. Nobody worried about me. I was overwhelmed with joy, but also with sadness, as I realized that I had kept myself – and my husband – from that experience for 12 years. I promised myself that I would no longer allow how I felt about myself to affect how others perceived me.
I got a little journal from the dollar store and started writing down the things I liked about myself that had nothing to do with my body. I’m funny, I give good advice, I’m great under pressure. I started to realize my worth, and that it doesn’t matter if I lose or gain weight or if I dye my hair red. The journal led to a lot of unlearning and then learning how to properly talk to myself and how to dress my body in a way that makes me feel good.
I missed so many things because I never thought I was valuable enough. There are interviews I haven’t done, courses I haven’t taken, people I haven’t introduced myself to. I hope that by sharing my life and being an uncomfortably happy, blissfully in love, fat woman, anyone out there doubting will see that they are not alone.
You said it was a major turning point for you to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. By the way, you’re hosting a pool party with Penn for National Bikini Day on July 5 in Toronto. Why did you want to collaborate with the brand?
“Penn brings together many people who are all about self love and body positivity. Throwing a pool party on National Bikini Day with people of all shapes and sizes is going to be a really cool experience. My mom is coming too, and I think it will be empowering for her to see other people who are like her hugging their bodies and taking up space. I didn’t really see her in a bathing suit growing up, so it feels healing to me. It will give us both strength to do it together. It’s about showing up for yourself, but also for those who are struggling with their bodies right now, so they can see us and say, ‘If they can do it, so can I.’”
