Sure, make magic for your kids, but don’t let it stress you out
Magic belongs to the territory of childhood. Sunsets, cobwebs and sick dunks – we can point to magic when we see it, but most of the time parenting is constantly reminded of its existence. That is one of the advantages.
Have you ever taken a walk with a toddler? Every different leaf, stone and stick – especially the sticks – is magical. Add 10 years and that preteen might be over it, but there’s always magic to making a 12-year-old laugh.
The idea of parents creating childhood magic isn’t new, but our ability to share and compare our magic making skills has changed with social media. We know that scrolling often leads to feeling bad about ourselves; even the most self-aware among us are vulnerable to that particular insecurity. When something strikes a chord, negative feelings can build. Jealousy. sadness. Guilt of feeling those things while also feeling so much gratitude and love for your family. Guilt that other families’ magical moments can send you into a spiral. You’re really happy for them, so why are you feeling so bad?
We want to protect our children from the harshness of the real world. We also want to share our lives on social media.
I recently saw an Instagram Reel of a father who hides store-bought shells on the beach for his children to “discover” them later. Part of his caption read, “As you get older, it’s your job to turn ordinary moments into magical moments.”
The reaction? Instant defiance, with hundreds of comments—mostly from mothers—about privilege, rights, and unfair expectations, sparking a sometimes nuanced, usually angry conversation. Hearty emojis, heartfelt support and indifference were also scattered throughout.
All responses were valid and I could understand them all. Yes, it’s overkill to hide shells when the beach is naturally magical, but it’s also a sweet gesture and one I wish I had done when my kids were toddlers. How dare he say it’s a parent’s job to create magic, but also, who cares? I bet his kids had a great time.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the whole “traditional” holiday gang have been a part of western pop culture for decades. And even if they weren’t part of your actual culture, you were still made aware of the stories surrounding these legends. As someone who grew up with some, but not all, of the traditional holiday dishes, hiding shells on a beach feels the same. It’s all magic crafted in the spirit of wonder and to see your children’s eyes light up in that guileless way that only children’s eyes do.
But let’s face it, nobody makes magic for parents. I would like to believe in the Clean Kitchen Every Night Fairy. I’d like to put cookies down for the Elf who changes the duvet cover. Sign me up for the Collects, Folds and Puts It All Away Laundry Bunny.
As summer and the end of school approach, let’s promise not to let the stress of social media get to us. Summer should be pressureless – there are no big holidays and laziness is accepted. It’s lush and tacky and sometimes boring. It’s sunscreen, screen doors and sticky fingers.
As parents, let’s make a pact this summer to make magic for ourselves, separate from our children. To have new experiences, pick up old ones and enjoy them as the gifts they are. The kids will be fine.
I plan to go roller skating with my friends at sunset. I want to make strawberry jam and only maybe share. I want to cycle along the water – any lake, river or stream is suitable.
What kind of magic will you make?
