Why we struggle with perfectionism — and how to overcome it

Perfectionism is a common trait that many people struggle with, whether they realize it or not. The idea that everything has to be flawless can lead to a variety of negative consequences, including low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and anxiety. Therapists often identify three types of perfectionism: self-directed, externally directed, and perception-based. Each type can have its own set of challenges and can impact different aspects of one’s life.

Danyale Freeman, a writer and activist for Black women, points out that marginalized individuals can feel additional pressure to be perfect due to their position in society. This added pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and can be detrimental to one’s mental health. Freeman compares the struggle to overcome perfectionism to trying to break free from a toxic relationship – it can be difficult, but ultimately necessary for personal growth.

One of the key characteristics of perfectionism is procrastination. Perfectionists often delay tasks because they are worried about not getting them exactly right. This can lead to unnecessary stress and can hinder productivity. Israa Nasir, a psychotherapist and author, suggests setting a timer to help overcome perfectionist tendencies. By giving yourself a set amount of time to complete a task, you can build trust in your abilities and learn to accept imperfections.

Another strategy to combat perfectionism is to ask yourself a set of questions before completing a task. By defining what success looks like in advance, you can avoid getting caught up in unnecessary details and focus on the bigger picture. Nasir also emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation in overcoming perfectionism. Learning to be comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty can help you break free from the need to be perfect.

Ultimately, the goal of overcoming perfectionism is to learn to accept that good enough is, well, good enough. By letting go of the need to be flawless, you can reduce stress, increase productivity, and improve your overall well-being. It’s okay to strive for excellence, but it’s important to remember that perfection is not achievable – and that’s perfectly okay.