Years of sexual abuse by stepfather ‘changed the way I see the world,’ victim tells Halifax court

HALIFAX, NS — A 21-year-old woman did her best to convey to a judge in Halifax the aftermath of years of sexual abuse at the hands of her former stepfather.

“As I’ve gotten older and everything has come to light, I’ve come to realize how much it has changed the way I see the world and think about certain things,” the young woman said in a victim impact statement she filed for the Beaver Bank man’s sentencing hearing Tuesday in Nova Scotia Supreme Court.

“I was confused for a long time about why I felt the way I felt because I was younger and all I ever tried to do was push it all out of my mind as a defense mechanism and tell myself it wasn’t that serious and that I was okay.

“But since I’ve talked about it more and dealt with it all in court, I’ve had time to really reflect and reflect on how it’s changed my life and why I am the way I am today.”

The name of the 53-year-old man cannot be mentioned because of a publication ban on the identity of the victim, the daughter of his former wife.

“As I’ve gotten older and everything has come to light, I’ve come to realize how much it’s changed the way I see the world and think about certain things.”

– Survivor of sexual abuse

The man stood trial on four charges last December in connection with incidents that mainly took place in Lower Sackville from 2013, when the victim was 11 years old, until his arrest in January 2020, when she was 17.

The victim testified that the abuse started as touching her genitals over clothing, but escalated. She said her stepfather would dry her nose and let her masturbate him.

The man would give her cigarettes, alcohol and car rides in exchange for the sexual activity, she said.

Judge Scott Norton handed down the verdict in January and found the man guilty of sexual interference, sexual exploitation and assault. in that fact took place when the girl was under 16 years old.

On Tuesday, Crown Attorney Nicole Campbell asked for seven years in prison for the man, who underwent a forensic sexual behavior examination prior to the hearing.

The assessment found him to be at moderate risk of violent reoffending and medium risk of sexual reoffending.

Campbell said the perpetrator abused his position of trust to manipulate and abuse the girl for his own sexual gratification.

“(He) deprived her of the opportunity to experience sexual conduct in a situation of genuine choice when she came of age,” the prosecution said of the man. “This is very aggravating.”

Campbell asked that the man be ordered not to have contact with the victim or her mother while in prison and that he be placed on the national sex offender registry for 20 years after his release.

She also wants a gun ban and an order limiting his contact with children. She asked that both orders be in effect for 10 years after he gets out of prison.

‘Sorry for my actions’

The man, who represented himself at the trial, said he had no sentencing advice in court.

“I’m sorry for my actions towards (the victim) and how it affected her family,” he said.

Norton delayed his decision until July 20, saying he needs time to review the crown attorney’s statements, including the case law she relies on, and the victim impact statement.

“Before all this started happening, I was a more outgoing and trusting person,” the victim told the court. “I loved spending most of my time with friends and family.

“I started to distance myself from the world and the people I love and who love me the most. I stopped caring about activities I enjoyed, I stopped going to school, and I stopped taking care of myself. I felt like my life was pointless for many days and I would just like to hide in my room and sleep the days away.

“I felt like my life was meaningless for many days and I would just like to hide in my room and sleep the days away.”

“I feel like I spent most of my teenage years in my room alone and isolated from the world because I felt alone and like I wasn’t worthy of love and like the actions that happened were partly my fault and I I don’t want anyone to get to know me differently or look at me differently.”

‘numb the pain’

Feeling guilty and ashamed, she said she turned to alcohol and marijuana “as a way to forget and ease the pain” and associate with the “wrong kinds of people”.

“I lashed out at my family when they tried to help me,” she said. “I knew deep down that I was only making things worse for myself, but somehow I didn’t want to stop because numbing the pain was the easiest thing I could do. I became selfish and didn’t love myself at all.”

She says she has suffered from anxiety and depression since she was 13, finds it hard to trust anyone and never feels safe, even at home.

“I’ve had to wake my mom or brothers up several times to look around and check if anyone was in or out of my house,” she said. “I’m 21 and I’m still afraid of being home alone, and I don’t see myself ever living all alone because of how paranoid I get.

“I have been hurt and used from an early age. I feel that I have been robbed of many things in my life and many years by what happened. But I’m trying to learn how to change it because I’m learning that I never made any money from it.